Posts tagged ‘shakespeare’

September 15, 2015

Two for the Price of One

by lisa st john

 

Two for the price of one. What if I only want one?

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Life or death; prosperity or poverty; winter or summer; light or dark—no. We get both, not either or. As King Lear says, “I have taken too little care of this.” Tom o’ Bedlam may not be my problem to “take care” of, but my mindset sure is. Leave it to Shakespeare to create a “semi-apocalyptic” world hundreds of years ago. My own chaos is never black and/or white. Whose is? The glass isn’t half empty OR half full; it’s both. Paradox or no, it’s both. Maybe there are two of Schrödinger’s cats, but that’s a question for another blog post.

When I Google “two” I get “Two player games.” By the way, Google (the noun) doesn’t want us using Google (the transitive verb) unless we really mean we are using their search engine. I think that’s hilarious. As if I would stop saying, “I need to Xerox that handout,” or “Please get me a Kleenex.” Humph. Who do they think they are trying to control language? Good luck. Not going to happen. The word “too” gets me to ToonTown, and “to” is, of course, “To Kill a Mockingbird.” (Not “How to Kill a Mockingbird” unless, maybe you are one of Schrödinger’s cats.)

But if it’s about “and” instead of “or” why are questions like the following still coming up? Can we be both a mother and an artist? (Why don’t men have to ask this question?) Follow that last link to Amanda Palmer’s awesome open letter. Can’t mouse back over there? Try here. It’s worth a read. Kimya Dawson knows. Virginia Woolf knew (before she put stones in her pocket anyway). I guess we all know it’s possible We could get all existential (slash absurdist) over it and realize that, “What is called a reason for living is also an excellent reason for dying,” but Camus wasn’t a Goddess. What the fuck did he know about “and?” Women know “and” inside and out. lilygoddess

“Would you like to feed your child or get some sleep?”
Uhm…and.
“Would you like to have a job or stay home with your kid?”
Again…and.
“Are you depressed or joyful?”
Uh…yes.

I want to look both in and out of my windows. It’s not easy being human.

missy looking out

 

 

 

 

 

 

You can still buy my poetry book Ponderings, HERE.

June 29, 2014

Applause, Applause!

by lisa st john

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ap·plaud: verb \ə-ˈplȯd\

: to strike the hands together over and over to show approval or praise

: to express approval of or support for (something or someone)

 

Othello, this year’s headliner for the Hudson Valley Shakespeare Festival at Boscobel, was, as always, beautifully tragic. The evil Iago (in love with his general) remains a master of deception. After “honest” Iago gets Cassio drunk, Cassio laments his lost reputation and states, “O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains! that we should, with joy, pleas-ance, revel, and applause, transform ourselves into beasts!” Yes, Cassio, people drink and lose their minds and “party until we’re like animals.” It’s just the way we are. But “applause?” What an odd concept if you think about it. Why does clapping our hands together signify praise?

 

Not knowing the history of applause does not stop us from using it, however. At our high school’s graduation ceremony this past Friday, an interesting student asked this very question. Why do we do it? As the graduates walked past, we (the faculty) applauded them. As the graduates came up one by one we applauded. “When we applaud a performer,” argues the sociobiologist Desmond Morris, “we are, in effect, patting him on the back from a distance.” This makes sense. I do pat every single kid on the back who manages to graduate high school. It’s not the difficulty of the grades or classes that makes me say this. It’s the difficulty of surviving teenager-ness in tact (at least partially). From what I have seen in only 18 years of teaching, teens are experts at survival. I applaud the 80% of American teenagers who make it. That’s right. 20% do not. The numbers sound vague, at least to me. I am not a number person, so what does 18 years mean? What IS 20%?

 

  • According to an article in Smithsonian magazine, an estimated 20 percent of people are “especially delicious” to mosquitoes.
  • 20% of people in the Midwest have bed bugs.
  • Pareto’s Theory involves an important 20%. “The 80/20 Rule means that in anything a few (20 percent) are vital and many(80 percent) are trivial. In Pareto’s case it meant 20 percent of the people owned 80 percent of the wealth. … Project Managers know that 20 percent of the work (the first 10 percent and the last 10 percent) consume 80 percent of your time and resources. You can apply the 80/20 Rule to almost anything, from the science of management to the physical world. Google does a great job with 80/20. Their engineers “are encouraged to take 20 percent of their time to work on something company-related that interests them personally. This means that if you have a great idea, you always have time to run with it.”
  • One in five is the same as 20% so,
    • 1 in 5 people would have sex with a robot.
    • 1 in 5 road accidents in Sweden involve an elk.
    • 1 in 5 American children have a mental health problem.
    • 1 in 5 children in 37 states live in a “food insecure” household.
    • A woman’s chance of being raped in the United States is 1 in 5.

 

Numbers and emotions are oddly intertwined. “…tens of thousands of children die every day around the world from common causes such as malnutrition or disease” Not feeling much, right? We need comparisons.“That’s roughly the same as a hundred exploding jumbo jets full of children every single day.” Now that is heart-wrenching. But make it even smaller and it’s real in a way that large numbers are not real. “At the age which most children begin to communicate, Franciso Santoyo’s parents discovered he was deaf and losing his eyesight quickly.”

 

We cannot feel bad about not caring as much about the ‘tens of thousands of children’” as we do for Francisco. As K.C.Cole states in her revelatory book, The Universe and the Teacup, “It’s just the way our minds work.”

 

But rather than condemn ourselves for not empathizing with large numbers, I applaud us for caring at all. Bravo to the teenagers who graduated. Bravo to Chive Charities. Bravo to all the artists who create and share. And I applaud Whitman for knowing all of this so many years ago.

 

The Learn’d Astronomer”

 

WHEN I heard the learn’d astronomer;

When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me;

When I was shown the charts and the diagrams, to add, divide, and measure them;

When I, sitting, heard the astronomer, where he lectured with much applause in the lecture-room,

How soon, unaccountable, I became tired and sick;

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Till rising and gliding out, I wander’d off by myself,

In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,

Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars.


In the silence of night I have often wished for just a few words of love from one man, rather than the applause of thousands of people.” Judy Garland

 

 

 

March 25, 2011

Good Pantyhose Can Work as a Fan Belt in a Toyota for at Least Three Days of City Driving

by lisa st john

I always thought the “Write about your Hero” was a lame essay topic. I do not have any heroes. Should I feel weird about that? I do now and then. Batman is pretty psycho when you think about it. He is a multi-billionaire who spends his split personality time playing vigilante. Forget Superman, who is really just an alien brainwashed by the square states mentality. Spiderman is infected…yuck. And the women? Afterthoughts of a feminist culture of guilt. Wonder Woman was my favorite; big boobs and balls to boot. But would any of us REALLY want a golden lasso of truth? Methinks not.

Shakespeare had it made. Elizabethans believed in villainy for its own sake. Sort of the post-modern view of humanity in a pseudo-technological society. Richard the Third? YIKES! He makes Bernie Madoff like look positively harmless. Titus Andronicus?  Hello, Jeffrey Dahmer.

If I had to pick a hero it would be a group—not an individual; it would be what I used to be, the working poor and middle class. The single parents, the people refusing to let go of the American dream. Okay, that sounds hokey. Let’s put it in a monologue and see if it makes more sense.

I go to put my pantyhose on and hobble out to the kitchen with one leg in and the other half in because I hear screaming and Jenna is hitting Sammy in the face with her cereal spoon yelling stop stealing my socks and the dog busts through the doggie door soaking wet with half of some bleeding animal in his mouth and all the kids start screaming then the phone rings and I wonder if the shirt Jimmy needs for today’s play is ready when I answer and it’s D___ from the diner asking if I can work a double today because the new girl called in sick and while I wonder if I can get Julie to pick up the kids from the bus on time I am also thinking that it’s Thursday and tips are great on Thursday dinner shift because of the weekly specials and Sammy comes in chasing Jenna with half a raccoon-looking creature in her hands and the dog barking behind them when I hear Jimmy yell Mom I need to get dressed like Abe Lincoln and I make it to the dryer where I slip on my work shoes and pull out a damp button-down white shirt and Jimmy is complaining that it’s wet and I drag him to the bathroom where I blow dry him with one hand and put my mascara on with the other and yell to the girls to get ready for the bus and did I call Julie? I check my watch. It’s 7:30 AM.

I guess I could choose the altruistic group like Mother Theresa and Gandhi, but I don’t believe in altruism either. Ayn Rand is an idiot. People do not do things because they make other people feel good. Logically, we would never do anything that didn’t also make US feel better.

Heroes. I choose (other than real people) Nurse Jackie and House. At least they are honest (to people other than themselves).

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